To my alter true self,

Just like you I’m a vagabond wandering in the desert of my mind, unaware of my destination. I’m in a journey with myself and somewhere in between where I rest, I take a fancy stroll; completely unheeded by my surroundings. I spend some quality time here thinking that one day, I’ll be able to accept them. I pen down my thoughts of those untouch variations of life that’re yet to be uncovered.

These concealed emotions

I may or may not be able to express it verbally, so I’m writing one down here.

It’s been a while now, I’m naive to this unknown feeling. I don’t know what to do, whether to say this to you or just let it go. There’s an incomprehensible expression that’s revamping my character. It’s a peculiar attraction. After all this time I still feel like I’m entwined by this inevitable spiritual connection that I’m unfamiliar with. I don’t know you that well, yet you are no mystery to me. I can read you very briskly, even in the blank depths of your thoughts I can see your true self. Absurd, right?

You must be thinking I’m proficient in pertaining the knowledge of human psychology. But the truth is, I remain a stranger to the other side. In fact, I know very little of the basic element required to live a functional life. I’m stretching every pleasant moment precisely just to procrastinate the sufferings.

I avoid emotional exposure and seek for comfort in the serendipitous corners of my mind. But even when I’m by myself in a calm state. I still feel there’s something missing.

Why do I find this uncanny resemblance in our thoughts? I cannot say.

So, I’m pouring my words here, hoping that you’ll acknowledge my gratitude not as an admirer juggling with random thoughts but as your parallel conscious, who’s pondering over the same idea as yours.

Always,

Shubhangi Rawat

37 thoughts on “मेरे ख्यालों के हमसफ़र

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  1. I love this! I’m not sure if past life connection is what you are referencing but I’ve even driven by someone in my car and they might be just pausing as they open the trunk of their car…they look up….and in that moment, we connect and I know I’ve known them. Perhaps that is all we needed this life time…hey….gotcha yah….nice to see you for this moment. And other people we’ve known in other lifetimes seem to stay in our lives longer. We KNOW we’ve known them, as the depth of connection and feelings in our hearts is way beyond the time we’ve shared in this one.

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    1. Wow, thank you for sharing such a beautiful experience here. 😊
      By the way I’m referring to the future connection that we build with different people in our life and the impression they leave on us always change us in some way or the other.

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      1. It’s okay. 😊
        Actually I’ve written it in such a way, that in life we usually get attracted by someone who resemble us and we develop certain feelings that seems confusing (either it’s infatuation or love) Even though we may or may not meet that person, we still take a part of their personality subconsciously and act like it.

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  2. Within a feeling we feel fragile and powerless: delicate. We rely on the other, hoping he does not want to turn us into a ball of paper destined for the basket. It is like when we dive into the water for the first time: although we have been taught how not to impact badly, we carry all the fear of the encounter, the fear of the act of trust.
    The evolution of a feeling is mysterious: there are those who face it with recklessness and those with fear of panic. There is no right or wrong way, there is a union of ways. There is a union of ways.

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    1. True, we are fragile beings and emotions is the key that gives direction to our life choices. Every feeling has its own significance and it’s necessary that we, as individuals should always look for hope; light even in the darkest times of life.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree. I also add, if feasible and not spoiled by previous traumas, to appeal to trust in others (without investing them with monstrous expectations and allowing the other the possibility of error that we allow, or do not allow, to ourselves). if we do not want to remain splendid monads, it is with the other that the feeling discovers the path from idealization to the incarnation of itself in a relationship. Acceptance of the transfiguration will be a future topic of discussion.

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      2. Indeed, high expectations and past traumatic emotional events navigates our judgement towards others. I’ll keep this point in my mind.
        Thank you for dropping such a thoughtful comment. 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Well written. Appreciate your openness in being candid about these thoughts which may sound confusing on the face of it. Believe me, many of us do share similar feelings but they would be burying them. Keep writing.

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  4. मेरे ख्यालो के हमसफ़र

    आज दिखा वही दिखा
    दिखा हमसफर एक यहा
    थे वो ख्याली पुलाव समान
    नही हकीकत बन सके यहां।।

    कर ली आंखे बंद अपनी
    दिखे अँधेरे में वहां
    थी साँसे चल रही थी उनकी
    पर बदन नही दिखे वहां।।

    अहसास हो रहा था हमे
    थे हमसफर मेरे वहां
    प्रत्यक्ष दिखे ही सत्य धरा
    नही प्रत्यक्ष कभी दिखा।।

    Liked by 2 people

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